Describe Your Obstacles to Self-Compassion

  • Brainstorm solutions to overcoming them.


As we get knocked around on our life’s journeys, we need to learn how to heal our inner injuries through self-love. We need to reposition the spotlight of our compassion onto ourselves.

What do you do when you have a mosquito bite? Do you curse it? Do you furiously rake your nails over it until it bleeds? Most of us do, yet we know it never helps and actually makes the itch worse.

We do the same thing with feelings that we don’t want to experience. We denounce our feelings and try to rid ourselves of them. We try to escape from them in any way possible through alcohol, TV, food — you name it.

We do everything but what is needed — to be present with our feelings, and have compassion and love for ourselves.

When we accept the reality of a difficult situation before us, we can move forward. Only then can we actually deal with the problematic situation. Without this acceptance, we feel like a victim, and spend all of our time and energy spinning our wheels — hovering in the same place in frustration — or even moving backward. It’s a miserable way to live.

Life is a constant flow of God-given challenges. These are not given to test us, per se, but so that we can learn from them and keep on growing and moving to the next level of our development — whether we like it or not.


Click here to listen to a free guided audio meditation on Self Compassion.  Scroll down the Music Player and click on the Three-Tiered Tool for Self-Compassion Meditation.


Describe Your Obstacles to Self-Compassion

  • Brainstorm solutions to overcoming them.

Post your comments below:

About Dan

Dan Messinger is the author of Holy Crap, a multimedia collection of spiritual tools that help you create meaning from everyday hassles.
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3 Responses to Describe Your Obstacles to Self-Compassion

  1. On the Path says:

    My biggest obstacles to self-compassion are my "shoulds": I "should" have known better, "should have" learned by now. I guess it's an exhaustion with my reactive, small self, that I keep making the same mistakes over and over. What I've been working with lately is loving myself for my humanness, that I would continue making the same mistakes even though I know better.

  2. Anonymous says:

    my "old messages" and Catholic upbringing are always pointing out that I am responsible for my own problems. now I know that I am the only person around for my entire journey. I try to forgive myself.

  3. Cindie says:

    I can offer compassion to just about anyone but myself. A rough childhood ingrained in me this idea that I didn’t deserve compassion, that even wanting such a thing was a sign of profound weakness. I was and still am much more comfortable feeling torn down, to blame, and fundamentally unworthy of anyone else’s compassion. So much so that the slightest act of compassion on my behalf sends me into ridiculous tears that flood me open and leave me clean.

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